One liners, Humour

[Jcloughie]

John

 

[Raywood]

On the theme of he old Skoda joke is what do you call a Lada with a sunroof?

A skip.

 

[Hutch]

"Can you get some bleach, washing powder and some shake and vac while you're out?" My wife asked.

"Can you not wait until you’ve opened your presents tomorrow?" I replied.😆

 

[Gagakev]

Should be a few "crackers " appearing from tomorrow 😝

 

[Jcloughie]

I took this pic some years ago at Portsmouth CAMC, just could not resist it, it may have been an act of God, (and may have shared it before).


John

 

[Hutch]

Not a one liner, but sad.
A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' and he picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.'
'What? --- because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'

 

[Sam Vimes]

Groan!

 

[DaveA1]

Groan!

LOL

 

[Jcloughie]

John

 

[Jcloughie]

John

 

[Jaydug]

How do you double the price of a Skoda? --------

Fill the fuel tank.

 

[Mel]

Fill the fuel tank.

2022 version:
How do you Quadruple the price of a Skoda…….

mel

 

[otherclive]

I really am surprised that the old Skoda jokes are still around. Must show my age 😂

As a previous owner of a Skoda Estelle 105, our first second car, it did 70k pretty reliable miles. When I lived in Cumbria the Skoda had no problems transiting the Lakeland passes and the motorways between Cumbria and Wiltshire. A super little car.. Now my more modern 2014 Superb gave trouble and some expensive bills.

 

[Jcloughie]

Perhaps Skoda brought it upon themselves.



When we went to the Czech Republic a local took pride in telling us the translation was “What a pity”.

Nevertheless, I fancy a Superb estate. 😁



John

 

[otherclive]

The name Skoda came from the surname of the founder of the company, like Ford, Morris. It’s alternative Czech meanings will change depending on if it has a capital “S“ or lower case “s” . The Carscoop definitions relate to the small “s” spelling.

Its still less embarrassing than taking your Pajero to Spain 😂😂😂

 

[Hutch]

Are you sweating whilst putting fuel in your car, feeling sick when paying for it, then you have probably got, Carownervirus

 

[Jcloughie]

John

 

[Sam Vimes]

John...

Amusing statement from Muhammad Ali - this coming from someone who's occupation was wacking other people around the head.

 

[Jcloughie]

John...

Amusing statement from Muhammad Ali - this coming from someone who's occupation was wacking other people around the head.

That’s what’s meant by ‘service’. 🥴. Perhaps he should have written ’the service you do to others’.

John

 

[Hutch]

Where would two motorists have a fight ?
On a duel-carriageway.

Where would two farmers have a fight ?
On a duel-cabbageway.

 

[Jcloughie]

Two of my great grandchildren were quizzed on life choices, money marriage etc. very funny. This is the older child.

View: https://youtu.be/yGkRUcJ0jzA



Her brother aged 6 was asked some questions today. A lot of his answers was Lamborghini. But one answer I really loved.

Whats the capital of England?

Answer….










E

John

 

[Dustydog]

 

[Challenger]

I wasted 4 hours in A&E getting a mole checked.
Apparently, they all look like that and I should have left it in the garden

 

[Hutch]

My son has just gone into business putting ignition switches into cars,
Apparently it is a Start up business.

 

[Challenger]

Perhaps Skoda brought it upon themselves.

View attachment 2937

When we went to the Czech Republic a local took pride in telling us the translation was “What a pity”.

Nevertheless, I fancy a Superb estate. 😁



John

My son (A Skoda owner) tells me that symbol is known as the 'flying f*** '