One liners, Humour

[Martin_E]

Even better.

View attachment 6278

Looks less economical……..like it drinks a bit more 🤔😂😂

 

[Mr Grumpy]

........they could not decide if The Jam or Cream should go on first.

No contest, JAM 1ST EVERY TIME! 🤪

 

[Beachball]

the New York jets cocktail ? Drink two of them and you"ll forget what your Namath.

 

[Raywood]

Liquorice roots were imported from Spain many moon's ago and used in the manufacture of Pontefract cakes also known as Spanish button's (appro 30mm x6mm)..if you over indulged yourself getting to your Thetford in time would be a matter of good luck,if however you had a serious cough then you wouldn't need your Thetford as it would be to late..if any of you good people come across any (Spanish button's try some ,,,in moderation of course)..Kop Kops are similar tasting ..but I ain't going there 🙂🙂...Gary

Just to clarify liquorice was grown n the Pontefract area well into the 19th century and earlier. Pontefract cakes were used as sweets as the poor could not afford sugar. They were stamped out by hand to produce something similar to what you see today. Things changed in the late 1800's when a Mr Wilkinson bought a factory and mechanised the process. Older members will remember Wilkinson's Pontefract Cakes. Sadly production has moved abroad now.

 

[Challenger]

 

[Beachball]

I"m reading a book about anti-gravity, It"s impossible to put down.

 

[Challenger]

 

[Buckman]

Sorry to be a killjoy and it is probably only me, but the one with the boat is not very appropriate considering a number of people lost their lives just over 48 hours ago and their loved ones are still suffering!

 

[otherclive]

Sorry to be a killjoy and it is probably only me, but the one with the boat is not very appropriate considering a number of people lost their lives just over 48 hours ago and their loved ones are still suffering!

I’d agree. Bad taste and unwelcome.

 

[Sam Vimes]

Removed as inappropriate

 

[Raywood]

Why cannot a bicycle stand up. It is two tired.

 

[Gagakev]

At our age, we can hide our own Easter eggs, wait half an hour and have no clue where we put them 🐣🐥🐣🐇

 

[Beachball]

A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks , Is this stool taken?"

 

[Challenger]

 

[Beachball]

Pollen is what happens when flowers can"t keep it in their plants.

 

[Challenger]

I've never understood the point in fire blankets.
Who's ever been in a fire and thought, "****, it's a bit chilly in here"

 

[Beachball]

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

 

[Raywood]

Two people are discussing the future of their pub.
The first says that they are losing lots of money and need to think of something.
The second suggests they turn it into a brothel.
The first says " don't be silly, if we cannot sell beer how on earth are we going to sell soup".

 

[Beachball]

A book fell on my head the other day .I only have my shelf to blame though.

 

[Beachball]

How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store.

 

[Sam Vimes]

Have you been following me

 

[Hutch]

My wife asked me for a bit of peace and quiet whilst she cooked dinner.
So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm.

 

[Beachball]

My therapist says l have a preoccupation for revenge. We"ll see about that.

 

[Raywood]

Beyonce has lost her mobile and is very upset because it was the best one she had owned.
Her manager said he would ring her phone to locate it but she said it was on silent.
Her manager said "if you liked it that much why did you not put a ring on it" .

 

[Challenger]